The trend of January being “Divorce Month” comes partly from the uptick in family law firms seeing new divorce filings after the holidays and throughout the first quarter of the year.
Melissa and Austin on US 99 and I recently dove into the reasons why there’s a spike in divorces, and what couples should consider before making any major relationship decisions.
Listen to the full interview here. Below are some key takeaways based on my more than 30 years of experience as an attorney and nearly 30 years of marriage.
1. The Holidays Can Be a Breaking Point
The pressures of the holidays can highlight existing problems for couples.
Financial strain, family, and demanding schedules and expectations can fuel the flames of any existing communication problems.
Still, most couples don’t want to disrupt their holiday traditions, especially if children are in the picture. Parents generally try to make it through Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year before making any kind of big decisions.
Conversations that have been put off may finally happen in January and early spring as everyone enters the “new year, new you” season.
2. Divorce Is Rarely About One Single Issue – But Sometimes People Weaponize Small Things
It can be seemingly small things that make divorce battles dramatic.
A pet, keepsake, or other item that one person knows means the world to another can be turned into a huge conflict if people want to inflict emotional harm on each other.
Fur children have become such a common point of contention during divorces that a Pet Prenup industry is popping up to help legally arrange for a pet’s future should its parents separate.
Divorce is as much an emotional process as it’s a legal one. Those who come out stronger on the other side often build the skill of regulating their emotions even through the toughest times.
3. Communication Can Save Marriages
Communication could be the difference between a couple remaining together or getting a divorce.
If you can’t communicate with your partner, or you’ve tried and failed, a mental health professional may be able to help you reconnect and work through deeper issues.
People evolve. Priorities shift. Children impact the context of marriage. Partners may drift apart when they don’t put in the effort to clearly communicate or commit to each other.
Not interested in therapy?
Try writing your spouse a letter. Send them spontaneous texts during the day to let them know you’re thinking of them.
Small gestures add up and can go a long way in rebuilding communication channels that have broken down over the years.
What’s Your Next Step?
If you’re considering a divorce, timing is important and understanding your options can help you make the right decisions.
Whether the ultimate decision is reconciliation or divorce, the first thing couples should do is gather information. And as we dive into the next quarter of the year, there’s still plenty of time to have a fresh start this spring and end the year stronger than ever.
